Tharntype The Series; เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ
Tharntype The Series, Seven Years After, Chapter 18: The Dead heart coming alive
By this time, the sun had already set over the sea and the surroundings were in darkness. An old motorcycle was parked on the side of the road and a dark-skinned young man was straddling it, his head on the handlebars, one hand holding a cell phone to his ear, letting the tears flow freely from his eyes.
At this moment, Type was speechless, even though he had a thousand words to say to the person at the end of the phone, wanted to tell him how he felt these days, wanted to say “I’m sorry”, wanted to blame him for not calling, there were so many things he wanted to say but finally he pursed his lips tightly, not wanting to Let the other man hear the tremor in his voice.
fu*ck his pride, I just don’t want him to know I miss him enough to cry.
However, Tharn at the end of the phone was still silent, Type thought that he took the initiative to call the other party, to tell them his feelings, they wouldn’t be cruel enough to let him sing alone, at least they would respond something, they shouldn’t be like this and not say anything.
[That’s it… Toot Toot]
He felt his tears were about to dry up and held the phone tightly for a minute, as if he was frozen in a daze.
He’s trying to make sense of it but it’s wearing off.
“Tharn, you son of a bi*tch!!!!! You devil!!!”
Type held the phone in front of his eyes and stared angrily at the screen as if it were Faires’ face and his eyes were about to fall out. The deep nostalgia had disappeared and was replaced by resentment and dislike and the feeling of blood rushing to the surface was stronger than the feeling of alcohol boiling in the blood.
Type cursed loudly, “That’s it? That’s it!!!!! Is that all you can say?! I haven’t spoken to you in almost a month and you’re telling me, “That’s it”? Are you even human? Do you have a heart? You son of a bi*tch! This is how you respond to me when I’m crying so hard? Are you tired of living? You’re fu*cking with me! You’re fu*cking with me!!!”
Type snarled at the phone, then slammed it into the beach, then slammed his head on the handlebars, trying to hide his resentment with pain and Tharn’s brief response killed all his feelings.
How the fu*ck could you do this to me? How the fu*ck could you do this to me?
Type hatefully threw the car to the ground, walked to the edge of the road, looked at the dark and frightening sea and cursed hatefully, “You can die wherever you want! You can die wherever you want!!”
“I don’t care about you anymore. I don’t care what you’ve become. You’re cold, you’re insensitive, you’re treating me like this because of a kid. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? How dare you treat me like this! You want to break up, don’t you? Fine. As you wish, ass- bleep–hole! Bastard!!!”
Who cares who hears, who cares who knows, Type wanted to shout out, just to vent his pent-up frustrations, he was already panting after shouting and sat down on the ground exhausted.
For seven years, he never thought that he and Tharn would end up like this. Ending a seven-year relationship with a simple “that’s it” and a beeping busy tone, Type never thought that one day he and Tharn would end up like this.
Tharn has never neglected him like this before. He’s called Tharn names, he’s hurt Tharn, Tharn has never given up on him. Is Tharn not going to take it anymore? Doesn’t he care about his feelings anymore? Doesn’t he… He doesn’t love him anymore?
“Are you just going to abandon me?”
Type doesn’t know what Tharn is thinking now, he is so smart but he has no clue, he only knows that he is suddenly so sad at this moment and that sadness is far greater than the anger he just felt.
He’s sad that Tharn doesn’t care about him anymore.
Seven years, only seven years. Didn’t you say you loved no one but me? Didn’t you say you couldn’t live without me? But it’s only been seven years… Is it over already? It’s just a little incident interfered by an insignificant person… Don’t you trust me anymore? Why… why seven years ago… Why did you… seven years ago… Did you want me to fall in love with you?!!
Type’s head sagged and tears welled up in his eyes, he gritted his teeth in vain, the walls he had built up for so long were falling apart with that phone call.
He loved Tharn for seven years, never thought he’d lose him one day.
The guy he lived with on his first day in college, the guy who was jealously handsome and helped him move his stuff into the dorm, the guy who introduced himself to him, the guy he later found out was gay and hated, the guy who always messed with him and then got kicked out, the guy who tried to stay away but ended up getting closer and closer until he couldn’t stay away anymore and now he’s going to lose it?
That person who’s been waiting for him, who’s been with him from the first day of college to the day he graduated with his master’s degree, who will never be his again?
Tharn was involved in almost every first time in his life.
Tharn was his first roommate.
Tharn was his first man.
Tharn was the first person to whom he gave his best for someone other than himself.
Tharn was the first and only, person to appear in his future blueprints.
All those firsts, on the day it happened, were cut short.
“Seven years, what a coincidence!”
Type has never believed in magic spells but now he is ironically under the curse of the “Seven-year itch”.
“Is it over? Is it over so easily?”
Type silently asked himself, then slowly stood up, turned his head to look at the phone lying on the beach and after a long while, finally moved his body, mechanically walked over to the phone and slowly picked it up, expecting that the person who just hung up on him was joking with him and wanted to make him anxious to punish him for the torment of these days when he asked for a separation. But… Hopes were dashed.
The night was hazy until dark, the street lights came on again and again and the phone never rang again.
“It’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right.”
The young man gritted his teeth, wiped his face with the back of his hand, felt his face moisten, then walked straight to his motorcycle, which was lying on the ground, picked it up, straddled it and started it up again.
“It’s okay, it’s not a big deal.”
It’s just that in Type’s heart, this small consolation was useless, because his heart… Must not even be as all right as he says it is.
If we could stop being sad because of one word, we wouldn’t be human.
On the other side of Thailand, the young man who had just hung up the phone, was already eager to run upstairs from the dining room into his room, so much so that his sister and elder brother followed him and ran in to find out what was going on, only to find him rushing to grab his bag.
At first Tharn was flabbergasted when he saw Tharn’s phone ringing, he picked up the phone and realized that it was Type who was calling.
Thorn shook his head in frustration at the time:Have they been dating long enough for a single sentence to make a heartfelt connection?
“Tharn, what’s going on?”
“Brother, help me.”
“Huh?” Thorn looked like a question mark.
Tharn continued: “Can you please book me the fastest flight to Koh Samui, no, there are no flights to Koh Samui now, let’s fly to Surat Thani first, the fastest flight… Ya, please help me pack my luggage.”
Tharn spoke in a serious tone, then grabbed a pile of clothes from the closet and threw them on the bed, then took out his wallet, still holding the phone tightly in his hand.
The two siblings’ faces smiled with relief and ridicule.
“Bastard, you’re stealing my thunder, don’t you know that your brother sister in law and I are getting married and I have to look the happiest I’ve ever been.”
“Brother, Tharn’s matter is most important now.” He didn’t fold the clothes neatly and put them in his bag but just stuffed them in haphazardly, because she also saw her brother’s impatience.
“Call me when you’re sure about the flight.”
After saying that, Tharn grabbed his bag and rushed out of the room as fast as he could, ignoring his brother’s question about whether he needed a ride or not, even if he had to pay the high airport parking fees, he would do anything to meet the person who just called him in the shortest possible time.
At the same time, Tharn also called a co-worker at work to take a leave of absence, infuriating the co-worker into screaming over the phone.
“I’m going to take the day off, come back to work after Songkran and if I’m not approved for the week leave, then tell my boss that I had a serious illness and had to take a break early!”
Tharn ignored the thunderous voice on the phone, hung up the phone and threw it on the passenger seat, then started the car and drove to the airport.
Type, I miss you too, wait for me, I’ll come to you and tell you myself.
A brand new day begins, the young man who hadn’t slept for almost the whole night gets up before dawn, because he knows he won’t be able to sleep even if he stays in bed, all he can think about is someone who just broke his heart, damn it! Every time he thought about it, tears flowed out of his eyes, even when he saw the insurance company’s advertisement, he thought it was fu*cking sensational, tears are not worth anything!
As to why he gets up so early in the morning… Because he doesn’t want his parents to ask him questions.
I don’t look any different than if I’d just crawled out of the grave.
So, he told the worker who was supposed to pick up the things needed for the reception of the tenants not to go but to get them himself and then he went out in his father’s pickup truck.
I’m so tired!
Not physically but emotionally, he didn’t know that a breakup could be so painful.
“Maybe that’s the evil karma I’ve received.”
What goes around comes around. Once, he broke up with Tharn on purpose, in order to bait his evil friend. He felt guilty and sorry for Tharn but he knew it was just a lie he made up and he didn’t really want to break up, so he didn’t feel any heartache… But this time.
It hurt, it hurt so badly, that he couldn’t breathe. Tharn was probably as sore then as he is now.
Tharn didn’t know it was just a joke at the time. He heard Thorn say how miserable Tharn was at that time… As fate has a way of reincarnating, Tharn’s pain is finally felt by him now. He deserves it!
Now, Type doesn’t want to cry like a crybaby and he doesn’t want to numb himself with alcohol, because he knows he has work to do and responsibilities to take on but… he feels like his life has lost something important. He felt as if he had lost something important in his life.
Type felt as if someone had plucked out his chest, ripping out the heart inside.
It’s like there’s a void, like there’s no weight, like something important has disappeared and yet he can’t die.
I can’t die but the pain is worse than death, because the brain still thinks, the body still feels and the heart still calls out, like a bubbly heroine in a novel.
“Type, don’t think about it. Get back to work. Get back to work!” Type hypnotized himself, trying to remind himself that this was no time to be sad and that if he didn’t want his father to get hurt, he shouldn’t be so obvious about it, because if his father found out, he’d make fun of him for breaking up with him.
He wanted to shout into his father’s ear, “Don’t rub salt into people’s wounds!
Type drove by the dock, saw a ferry leaving the dock to pick up passengers at Surat Thani and what he didn’t know was that it would return with the person he wanted to see the most, oh no, now it was probably the person he wanted to kill and dump the body.
Finally, the young man picked up his things and returned home, although his family homestay was not as big as the one on the other side of the island, which was a five-star hotel with a large swimming pool, their homestay was also clean, spacious and allowed pets, as well as adjacent to a beautiful beach. So during the high season, their B&B is also overcrowded, because they provide breakfast service and sometimes there are not enough people to work there, so sometimes Type is exhausted.
The good news is that they only serve breakfast but if they offered meals at other times of the day, Type would have encouraged his parents to close down the B&B, he was exhausted and not making much money.
But compared to his thoughts, the fatigue he had complained of for days had become nothing and he was glad that now he was as busy as a top and his head was spinning like a top and that he wished only to be so tired that he would fall asleep on his pillow tonight and have no sleep at all and not think of the one who hurt each other.
As soon as Type carried the stuff into the B&B, he went out to get the sheets again, because the laundry man told him that he was too busy to bring them here and he passed someone by.
Type was so busy that he picked up something from the laundry and on his way back, he stopped by to get a cup of coffee, only to run into his best friend who was taking it easy.
“You look like you’ve been busy.”
“You look like you have a lot of time on your hands, if you want to help.”
“No, no, no. I’m back on vacation. I want Groucho’s palsy. I envy you! I’m jealous of you!”
Looking at his best friend sipping his coffee, he really fits the image of a paralyzed Groucho.
“How about you? How’s the decision about being a monk coming?” Kom is back on the same topic they talked about a few days ago.
“I’ve talked to the abbot, there’s an auspicious day, or after Songkran, I’m too busy, I’d better finish this period before I become a monk.” Type answered and took a sip of coffee.
“Yeah, what day exactly? If it happens to be Songkran, I can help out a bit.”
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
“What’s going on today!” Before Type could answer Kom’s question, his phone rang abruptly and he didn’t want to answer it once he picked it up and saw the name on it… Mom.
“Mom, what is it now? I’ll be home soon!”
[Buy me something. I don’t have much. I want to buy… Blabla… Blabla…]
What the old lady called not many things would often be a long list, Type couldn’t help but roll his eyes, tilting his head to look at his best friend who was raising an eyebrow at him, only to hear him chuckle softly, opening and closing his lips: “Do you want me to help?”
Originally Type didn’t want to bother his best friend but looking at his own situation, he had to change his mind: “You help me get my stuff home, give me your motorcycle, I’ll go shopping for our old lady, I’ll meet you at my house.”
“Okay, I have more time than a fish today.” This guy deliberately had a long tail, Type couldn’t help but shake his head and cussed, “Beat it! Give me the car keys, I don’t have time to talk to you.”
After exchanging the keys, Type jumped on the motorcycle and started the bike, because he still had a lot of work to do and his mother’s instructions to buy more than just a few things, by the time he finished everything and rode home, it was already ten o’clock.
“Ah, let me die!”
Type is tired enough of riding his bike to the grocery store but what makes him even more tired is the fact that his ungrateful old man is standing at the entrance of the road back to the B&B, staring at him with his eyes.
“I beg you. I’m begging you, we went to the doctor earlier and he told me that if you move around too much, the wound will get infected and now you’re having a problem? How can you heal like this? Go home and lie down for a day… No. No, lie down for a week!” Type knew that his father’s wound was almost healed but couldn’t he just rest and let his son and his wife rest, too? Is it really that hard?
When the old father heard this tone of grumbling and questioning, he immediately pulled down his face and said fiercely, “Who wants to stay in the house, it’s going to be moldy and smelly, okay!”
“Moldy and smelly? Who said that? My mother? If she hears you talking about her like that, she’ll slap you against the wall and pick at you.”
“Bastard, don’t act like you don’t know, you haven’t seen each other for weeks, I thought I wouldn’t see him again this year, who’d have thought!” Type’s father was gnashing his teeth, his expression of hatred, Type was confused… Did his father get too much rest and lose his mind?
“Dad, please, speak in the language of the people, or in the dialect, as long as I understand.” asked Type, who didn’t know what he was talking about and at that moment,
A certain deep-rooted voice was carried by the sea breeze into his ears… Type was stunned.
Hearing such a familiar voice, Type slowly turned his head back.
The man he tried to kill is standing there smiling… Tharn.
The man looked like he hadn’t slept all night, a bit of a mess, his clothes were wrinkled but his eyes and smile were filled with joy, there was a blue ocean in his eyes and the sun was shining brightly… Tharn just stood there quietly… stood there… in front of him.
“Tharn…” Type called out distractedly, Tharn came towards him and he slowly got off the motorcycle.
Type just stood there, looking at the young man slowly walking towards him, until the man came in front of him.
He didn’t say a word and they were silent. All they could do was No, he didn’t choke him, he didn’t drag him to the beach and push his head into the water, he didn’t jump up and kick him, he just… He just… held Tharn tightly.
He wrapped both arms around Tharn’s neck, feeling the warmth of the other’s body and finally closed his eyes slowly.
This is Tharn’s touch, this is Tharn’s smell… It’s really Tharn!
Without words, without explanations, without questions, at this moment, Type felt that the empty chest was filled with a freshly beating heart.
It had come back, what it had lost it had come back and the feeling of having it back almost made him want to cry.
The one who was clinging to him said to him, “Type, I miss you, I miss you so much.”
Type wasn’t a very stupid guy but he was stupid enough to think that Tharn was going to break up with him and the guy didn’t answer because he didn’t love, he just… He wanted to tell him that he misses him in person.
Before punching or kicking each other, Type just wanted to feel the feeling of a month lost and found again and the profoundly meaningful words “I miss you.”
“I miss you, I miss you every day, all the time… Don’t ever leave me again!”
The heart he thought had died came back to life.
“Say, do you want me to punch you or slap you, take your pick.”
“I want you to k-iss me.”
“Hmm, want me to k-iss you on the mouth with my iron hoof?” “
Type looked at the young man who chased him to the island and gave him two options to choose from but he licked his face and smiled and said he would choose the third option, with a confident look on his face.
By now, the two of them were standing on the beach, not far from the B&B but quite far from his house, Tharn was sitting on the beach, Type was standing there with a black face and how they escaped from his own father’s clutches… Thanks to his best friend, Kom, of course.
Kom took Type’s father home and volunteered to work for him, so he and Tharn could go somewhere and talk and he’d do the rest of the manual labor. So, they got some time alone together.
“Are you… Are you okay?”
“Today’s better and if you’d been here yesterday, Thorn would be here to collect your body.” Type got back to him in a huff, because now he knew why Tharn had hung up on him.
He could have played dumb and let Tharn explain but his heart understood that the reason he’d hung up suddenly, was to get to him as soon as possible.
Tharn suddenly reached over and grabbed Type’s hand.
Upon hearing this, Type turned his face to look at him and saw that he was looking at him with a guilty look on his face.
“What are you sorry about?”
“Don’t try to get away with this, just tell me one thing at a time, what did you do wrong?” Type looked like he had the upper hand, smiling wickedly but in reality, he had already given in, from the moment he saw Tharn, from the moment he realized that today was still a working day and he was coming to him regardless, he gave in. And by giving, he’s got nothing against him.
“To be honest… I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong but once I saw you… I’ve admitted to everything.”
Type couldn’t help but push his boyfriend’s head with his other hand, he can’t stand Tharn’s face as the main character in this drama.
“I’m sorry… I’ve said bad things to you.”
Type couldn’t help but turn her head to look at her boyfriend and after a while, she finally sat down next to him and gently patted their hands with her other hand.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t like it very much when you talk to me like that, even when you insult me.” Now that Tharn’s been straight with him, he’s got nothing to beat around the bush.
“I’m sorry…” Tharn apologized again.
Type turned his head and looked at him no more, just at the sea: “I want you to remember, that I could never betray you and if I did, it would be over between me and you then.”
Type’s tone was flat, he turned to look at Tharn again and saw the sad expression on his face… It’s the same as his mood.
“I’m sorry too… I’m sorry, I was careless myself.”
If he’d been a little more careful, none of this would have happened.
Tharn’s grip on his hand tightened, as if to confirm that Type was at his side and then he breathed a long sigh of relief… He threw his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
“Tharn, I don’t like the way you’re always jealous and indiscriminately jealous and the list of unreasonable things you’ve done over the years is too long to list and I know there’s a lot of things you don’t like about me that you don’t want me to do, so… From now on, please tell me directly, I’ll try to be calm, I’ll try to be more mature, I’ll try not to let it happen again… I don’t want to be apart for a long time like this, I can’t stand it!”
At this point, Type had thrown away his pride and dignity, as long as Tharn appeared in front of him.
“Mature and stable? You can do that?”
“Hey, f*ck you Tharn!”
Tharn, who had been so serious, smiled instead, a mischievous gleam in his quiet eyes and wrapped his arms around Type’s waist instead, a gesture that made Type feel much better.
“Can’t we just let that go for a while?” Tharn blurted out, as if they were discussing something insignificant and Type wasn’t angry, on the contrary, now he didn’t want to discuss what he liked, what he couldn’t tolerate.
“Okay.” Type smiled, quietly eyeing his half-breed boyfriend.
Tharn asked, “So now… I can k-iss you now?”
The subject came back to the question of options, at this point, all the unhappiness and anxiety on Type’s heart miraculously evaporated, leaving only a silly young man who was “framed” by a child. Tharn smiled at him, Tharn holds his hand tightly and Tharn still puts him in the ultimate position.
Heartbroken, Type tugged at Tharn’s lapel and let him lean in, saying ambiguously, “I’m still waiting for you to make your move.”
Looked at each other, stared at each other and then… Lips on lips.
Their lips were pressed tightly together in a stormy, almost devouring k-iss, so fervent and urgent that they couldn’t even leave a second to part, leaving no gap between them. The two flexible t-ongues eagerly probed into each other’s mouths, resisting each other to the death, the sound of their lips and t-ongues almost overpowering the sound of the waves but they still felt that it was not enough, as long as they were making love with the person in front of them, nothing was ever enough.
The cool tip of his t-ongue swept through Type’s hot mouth, giving him supreme pleasure. Tharn leaned in knowingly, doing whatever Type was comfortable doing.
Tharn pursued him, Tharn retreated, Tharn pursued him further, the sweet sounds of exchanging saliva echoes in his head, Type feels drunk.
A k-iss from Tharn is more destructive than a few hours of drinking with Kom.
The sound of panting, the wind, the waves and the sounds of everything else played a symphony in Type’s mind and the sound of their bodies rubbing against each other sounded so erotic that Type didn’t mind if they were about to go on a wild s-xx spree.
“What are you doing!”
He’d probably forgotten that he had a pair of watchful eyes on them at home and his stubborn old father voice rang out at the wrong time, so he and Tharn had to part their sticky lips reluctantly, turning back to the old man who staggered towards them.
“Intimacy is over.” Type endured, as he pushed the young man on top of him to get up, Tharn stood up and patted the sand on his pants, then offered Type his hand.
“If you say something nice and I’m comfortable listening, I’ll go on strike for a day with you today.” Type raised his eyebrows at Tharn.
Tharn also looked at him with a sincere face and confessed solemnly:
“I love you!”
On hearing this, Type smiled, then took his boyfriend’s hand and used his strength to stand up, after which he shouted to his father, “Dad, I’m going on huge strike today, I want to be with my husband.”
“Fu*ck! You ungrateful son!!!!”
Type didn’t pay attention to what his father was yelling at him, he only saw Tharn shaking his head somewhat huffily but the huffy youth held his hand tightly, they walked silently, their hearts were close to each other.
They’ve been apart for so long that it’s not too much to ask that they be together all the time, because they both want to make up for the regret of being apart, to cherish the one they’ve kept with their hearts and the one they love with their minds.
~ TharnType The Series~