The First Year and the Evil Senior: พี่ว้ากตัวร้ายกับนายปีหนึ่ง

SOTUS, Rule 27: Be by the senior side always

Arthit couldn’t remember the last time he had run so fast. Maybe it was two months ago, when he was punished by a senior for running 54 laps around the football field in the rain. That day, he ran to prove to all the first years the dignity of a head hazer.

But today he ran for the sake of a First Year, giving up his dignity. Arthit pressed the button and took the lift down to the hotel lobby. He quickened his pace and stepped out of the glass doors where the staff greeted him, ran down the stairs and rushed straight to the parking lot in front of the hotel.

Even though it was already 9 o’clock and the darkness made it difficult to see anything, he looked around, hoping to find someone. But the parking lot was empty, no one was waiting for him. Although he told himself he’d go back to school tomorrow, that he could take his time with Kong and that he still had his phone number, he had to admit, deep down, he was afraid that he wouldn’t get another chance and that sometimes, just a little bit later, things would change and it would be hard to come back and he felt worse and worse.

He stood shakily in the bus park, wanting to sit down because he had run out of energy to run and out of energy to think about what he was going to do later. Nott would have been walking to the hotel lobby by now. Maybe he should take their bus and go back with them? It’s better than taking a taxi or a bus back to the dorm by himself. He was in a tired mood, took his cell phone out of his pocket. Just then, a familiar voice came, making his heart stop beating.

“Phii Arthit, what are you doing here?” The person whose name was called turned to look at the person who called his name. Arthit’s eyes widened in disbelief when he saw someone who had given up looking for him appear before him. He blurted out the question.

“Kongphop, why aren’t you going back?” Kongpop thought he was pissing people off by staying here because Arthit probably didn’t expect him to be here. But he answered honestly.

“Yeah, I don’t want to go back yet.” And by now, he means after the wedding. As happy as it was to witness the love of the bride and groom, when he looked back on what he’d been through, it was even more painful for him. He knew. His feelings for Phii Arthit were hard to accept, not to mention the society at large but also himself.

He couldn’t have asked for more than what he did to please the people he wanted to touch. But not without letting him think about it. Since he didn’t want to go back to sleep so soon, or look across the balcony alone, he asked Sister Pleng and the others to go home first. Maybe it would be better to walk alone and think. But when he was standing in the parking lot, after dropping off Pleng and the others, he saw Arthit running down from the lobby, looking around as if he was looking for someone.

He thought that Arthit was in a hurry because Not and the others were already on the bus but he noticed that Arthit was still there. He couldn’t help worrying if something was wrong, so he went to say hello but it might make Phii Arthit feel uncomfortable. Because he felt that Arthit hated him, or some other reason, he felt uncomfortable when they met at the wedding. But he didn’t want Arthit to force himself to do the same this time…

He should have warned himself before coming over to say hello to Arthit. And now he was just standing there without moving. Both of them were silent… He realized that maybe it was a mistake to stay here, that he should leave the other Kong sighed softly and was going to turn around and walk away silently. But before he could move his feet, he heard a short question from the person opposite.

Arthit said: “Are you hungry?”

 Kong frowned in confusion at the lack of a beginning and end. Actually he was feeling a little hungry. Although senior Tum Fon had prepared Chinese food for his wedding, he hadn’t eaten much. What he didn’t understand was, why did Arthit ask that? Is it the same reason why Arthit asked him if he’s okay? Kong was going to explain to someone again but before he could open his mouth, someone else said it first.

Arthit said: “I’m hungry, let’s go see what we can eat.” As soon as he said that, the starving man turned around and walked out of the parking lot, leaving the confused man to guess what he heard. This can only be interpreted as an invitation to go get something to eat. Although Kong didn’t understand Arthit’s behavior, he couldn’t control his legs and followed him closely. They walked out of the alley where the hotel was, onto the sparsely trafficked road and finally to a street stall selling rice noodles and dumplings on the sidewalk. A few tables and chairs were set up next to the stall and a few customers were already seated. Kong sat at the table chosen by Arthit and then a brother noodle vendor came over to take the order. Someone quickly takes the first order.

Arthit said: “brother, I’d like a special order of pork and noodle soup.

Kongpop said: “Then I’ll have the noodles with meatballs in broth.” He ordered the regular menu. At first he thought Arthit would make fun of him but the man across the table didn’t say a word, just lifted his hand and undid his tie. Kong remembered now that he was sitting in a suit eating noodles at a street stall and it was no wonder that people at the other tables were giving him strange looks. But Phii Arthit didn’t seem to care about the situation.

Maybe Phii Arthit really invited him just because he was hungry. His mind started to go haywire but he didn’t know where to start, so he just waited for two bowls to be served. A special bowl of wonton noodles in ton yin soup and a bowl of thin noodles with meatballs in broth. It was a familiar picture. The first time he and Arthit went out for noodles they switched meals.

At that time Arthit explained that the bowl of noodles was ordered especially for him and wanted him to try a new taste for a very simple but touching reason, which led to more emotions. Only this time, déjà vu was unlikely to happen again. Someone had already taken his special bowl of wonton noodles in ton yin soup, added a lot of chili and put a big bite of noodles in his mouth, as if he didn’t want to waste time talking. Kong collected his thoughts and started to eat his noodles in the broth, picking up one of his favorite meatballs. Some people may put their favorite food last but he likes to eat his meatballs mixed with other foods. The way he ate probably caught the attention of the person sitting across from him. The other person asks the question.

Arthit said: “You like meatballs?”

Kongpop said: “Yes.” Kong nodded, bowed, picked up the bowl of noodles and ate. But to his surprise, another pair of chopsticks put the meatballs into his bowl. They both said.

Arthit said: “Ah, here you go.” Phii Arthit has done this several times….as if he doesn’t care about him, until he wants to give up and then finally gives him hope.  Phii Arthit’s solution of hitting the head and stroking it is always there. Although he was familiar with Phii Arthit’s usual ways but in the end he was as stupid as ever, like to think too much and then hurt himself with false and ambiguous hopes….

Kongpop said: “Why did Phii Arthit do this to me (give meatballs)?

Arthit said: “Do what?”

Kongpop said: “Do you really not know, or are you pretending not to know?” The hand holding the noodles was startled but soon it moved again.  Arthit let the question just fade away and then changed the subject.

Arthit said: “If you don’t eat quickly, the noodles will get soggy.” Kong looked at the person who had started the conversation, who was still busy eating the noodles in his bowl, not caring about anything, as if avoiding the discussion. But this action gave a clear answer.

Arthit already knew he knew what he was talking about but chose to do it anyway, choosing to keep confusing him. Sometimes Phii Arthit agreed with his approach, sometimes he pushed him so far away that he wasn’t sure where he stood now. There was only one person who could answer his question.

He wanted to know what Phii Arthit was thinking. But as long as he refused to listen or admit, there was no point in asking any more questions. Kong gave up asking, put his head down and ate his noodles. When both of them are full, they call someone to come and they pay for their food.  Arthit got up and left the table and walked out of the stall.

At first Kong thought Arthit would call a taxi or take a bus but Arthit walked on and Kong followed him. Kong didn’t count how far the two men had gone. By the time he regained consciousness, they had reached the King Rama VIII Bridge. The beautiful bridge lights illuminated Bangkok at night. But Arthit didn’t stop, he walked up to the bridge. On his left was the Chao Phraya River and on his right the road with its occasional traffic. The night wind blew very cold. But luckily they were both dressed in suits, so they didn’t feel the cold. They walked a quarter of the way across the bridge. They just walked quietly and did not say anything. This distance gave them a chance to rethink their questions and find answers. The first to find the answers was Arthit. He stopped, turned and looked at Kong, who had followed him a long way and asked briefly.

Arthit said: “Are you tired?” Concerned words like Kong once heard. He shook his head in denial.

Kongpop said: “Not tired” but this time Arthit didn’t change the subject, instead he raised his head and looked into Kong’s eyes with a serious face and explained what he wanted to say….

Arthit said: “I’m asking you seriously. Don’t you get tired of following me around like this, not knowing where I’m going, not knowing when I’m going to stop?” This question was not asked out of concern but it hid an underlying meaning. The same question, which he himself has pondered many times, is he ready for a relationship that will end indefinitely, at some point or another? If one day the distance between them grows so great that they can’t go back to the past, he will probably suffer more than he does now. If in the end he and Arthit=senior have to become irrelevant, will he really be able to take it and accept the reality? It’s not easy to find the courage but it’s not easy to let go of the one who makes your heart grow fonder. Kong looked into Phii Arthit’s eyes and said his choice with conviction….

Kongpop said: “I don’t know what I will meet in the future, I don’t know how far I will go but I still want to walk beside you, Arthit. What Kong wanted to say finally came out clearly. All that was left was to wait for the answer from the man who kept silent as if he was thinking.  Arthit avoided Kong’s gaze, turned his head to look at the river and said.

Arthit said: “You know I’m a man and you’re a man, right?”

Kongpop said: “Know…”

Arthit said: “You know I’m your senior and you’re my junior, right?”

Kongpop said: “Know..”

They are both distinctly different in gender and identity.  Phii Arthit has always shown his dignity as a head hazer and a man. It must be hard for him to accept that his younger brother thinks too much of him. But Kong can’t stop himself from liking him.

If Phii Arthit hates and rejects him for this reason….he will have to bow his head and accept that Kong’s heart is heavy. When he realized the pressure of the gap between them, he thought that Arthit would end the relationship at this moment. But Phii Arthit turned around and asked again.

Arthit said: “You know I like (pink) frozen milk, right?” This last strange remark made Kong look up, just in time to see the man opposite him turn his head and look at him. As if releasing all the repression he had been feeling, Arthit said without thinking.

Arthit said: “You know, sometimes I’m stupid, grumpy, irritable, sleepy and often do weird things. If you already know this, can you really accept me like this?” Before saying what he was worried about, Arthit was worried more than he was. They were both trying to accept each other for what they were but for Kong, he didn’t need to hesitate, because he already knew…

Kongpop said: “Yes, I can accept that. What about Arthit? Will you accept me?” Kong asked with more hope than ever before. Kong asked with more hope than ever before… but the next words brought down his excitement.

Arthit said: “I don’t know you well enough.” No wonder Phii Arthit is hesitating he has known senior Arthit for only three months. That seems such a short time. But before Kong had time to explain, the other one continued.

Arthit said: “But I want to know you better. It was a short sentence but powerful enough to make Kong open his eyes. He could hardly believe his ears and had to ask again.

What does Arthit mean? Before he realized it.

 Kong’s tie was being pulled closer to the man opposite him.

Then, he felt the softness on his lips.                                     

A light kiss but one that left a lasting impression on his heart.

In just a few seconds, Arthit slowly released his hands and responded briefly…

Arthit said: “My answer.” After saying that, Arthit quickly walked off in the direction of the bridge leaving Kong- alone. He began to understand what was happening and burst out laughing. He turned around and shouted at someone who stopped him.

Kongpop said: “Wait, Arthit. I didn’t hear your answer clearly, can you repeat it again?”

Arthit said: “No way.”

Arthit – responded loudly.

Kong- laughed as he quickly walked towards the other side. Both of them didn’t say anything, just like when they first got on the bridge. They just walked in silence. But sometimes silence can seem like a connection, a link between two people who don’t know what to say

…because, at least for now, they’re just walking

…because at least for now, it was clear in their minds, the exact relationship between the two of them…like this, one person walking beside the other.

Just that… that was enough. 

 

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SOTUS: The First Year and the Evil Senior

Next: SOTUS, Rule 28: the First Year has the heart of the Senior

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