Why R U? Because of Love? Chapter 00: Nagging Parents
Everyone in this world has a dream.
I also have a dream … but how many people will be able to achieve their dreams.
Of course, in all these dreamers one of them will achieve their dreams… but that person is not me.
I am not even close to being successful.
My dreams were not as big as someone who dreams of being an astronaut flying to the otherworld or to dive under the earth because what I dreamed against someone might seem too ordinary.
Yes, I want to be a writer.
Being a writer, I mean, I don’t have to be famous or have as many fans as everyone else, I want to be able to publish it like a publisher that has his own novel in a bookstore.
But just like that … the truth is always going against what we want it to be.
It’s like the comments in front of me in the bottom of minenovel.
‘What a novel! I came and read it and it sucks …’
“Suck? My novel sucks. Do you have no taste? Just because you don’t have smarts to understand it and you blame on the novels.”
This is not the first time I’ve read comments and was faced with something very frustrating, but anyway, I believe the second opinion is better.
‘It’s a sci-fi novel with no realism at all and it doesn’t make sense’.
“What the f-ck do you get realism in it from when it’s a sci-fi novel? If you want a lot of reasons why not go read Aristotle or a Bible, you don’t have to come and read sci-fi fiction “
I understand that people have many angles, but Zon couldn’t help but feel bad about their thoughts.
Maybe it was due to his high expectation and it made him feel disappointed.
But let me ask yall, where there are people in the world that do not expectation, if I stop expecting all this time, I will be able to achieve nothing.
“Mhh.” I sighed tiredly.
The thought of wanting to stop writing a novel suddenly came back into my mind again, and this time it didn’t happen just once or twice as well, it was like this almost every time I saw a comment that weakened my feelings. At the end, I didn’t know what to do except leaning on the chair exhaustedly, the gaze staring at the notebook in front of him was empty, but in his head there was a picture of a thought that was messed up and messed up.
‘Quit dressing it up, is the novel any good? ….’
‘I won’t get better Zol’
‘Isn’t it better to give up? Phii Zon’
That’s it, when I thought that I would stop writing, the words of someone who had influences again penetrated into my head….
Ai Zol, my only sister, Ai Zol, had been successful in writing novels even though she even started writing novels after me.
“Come on Ai Zon!” I said, raising my hands and patting it lightly my own cheek to wake myself from the pending depression, “Do not give up, Ai Zon.” My mouth kept murmuring to myself.
“Do you see how many volumes Ai Zol has published, so you shouldn’t get discouraged … don’t get discouraged, don’t get discouraged … don’t.”
The call from the person opening the door was loud enough for me to rock my chair. At first, I fell to the ground almost immediately.
Damn, that hurts….
“It’s alright, why are you on the floor.” Ai Zol sounded concerned over me if not for the loud laughter at the end, she seemed to laugh at seeing me fall on the floor like this.
“Nothing.” I said, I refused, and immediately stood up almost immediately, even though I wanted to walk around my own skull, but in the end I could only turn to the chair and move down to the same seat.
My so-called big brother’s image, although it wasn’t that good, it still supported me in the end.
“But why did you enter the room, do you not know how to knock on the door, if father is here, what would you do?”
“Is that your job to lock the room?” Because there is a n argumentative sister like this, I wanted to be born as an only child.
“But … What is Phii Zon doing? I know. Can you do it too? “
Ai Zol said simultaneously with her face peeking at my notebook carefully, or in other words, it is not a good thing she was going to say.
“I’m sure you were watching porn movies.”
“None of your business.” I hurriedly folded down the notebook as soon as my sister approached.
Honestly, I don’t want Ai Zol to mess with my own novel, maybe because it’s not as good as it hers, so I don’t want for her to have an input and mess it up..
“I didn’t want to be too nosy.” Ai Zol mumbled to herelf rather than to me, “And … How was Phii Zon novel? Have you finished it?”
“….” Silence formed again, I don’t know why, when the two of us talk about fiction, there is always this awkward atmosphere.
“Come on, Phii Zon, Susuna.”
“But … if you really can’t keep it ip Phii Zon, you can stop writing, as for the challenge we’ve agreed ….”
“But you said. Phii Zon if it is hard…. “
“You don’t quit.” Although the beginning brought me back to when I was writing, it came from Ai Zol’s challenge as to who will get many views, but I don’t know. Now, I feel the success that came to bite me because my story views are not great.
But if one day there is really a reason to stop writing I would rather wish that it came from my own feelings, not from someone’s words.
“Okay, I understand. Just give me advice.”
“Um.” I nodded lightly. Then turned to look at the sister’s face again, “But what did you come up to look for me for?”
“Oh … I forgot, mother called for you to go downstairs.”
“I don’t know, but father’s face is not looking very good.”
“How bad is it.” I don’t remember what I did to make my father upset, but I thought there was probably nothing.
“Well … they are waiting for a bit, I say Phii Zon better hurry down.”
“Hmmm. Wait. I will hurry up and go down.”
“So, I will go, Susuna, Phii Zon.”
“Mmh.” I gave my sister a reply only to realized that Ai Zol had walked out of the room and with that I reached out to open the notebook lid and looked at a few dozen word files in front of me.
It’s the last novel that I actually wrote. Before, I had been writing a lot of stories, but I have never finished writing. But when the plot came to me i would drop a novel and started a new stories.
This is why Ai Zol and I are different, Ai Zol chose to finish one novel before jumping into a new one and I, when I couldn’t write the novel was writing, I started a new story.
This is a loser 101.
“Oh, ooh.” Let’s do as much as we can, Ai Zon. I finished talking to myself and turned to fold down the laptop screen again before walking down to the side as Ai Zol said my father was waiting there.
I walked downstairs to the ground floor, the silence and the gaze from my parents sitting at the dining table put pressure on me that I couldn’t figure out what had happened.
“Why are your faces so stressed?”
“Zon, sit first, son.” My mother finished, nodding to let me sit down across the table. As I moved to sit down my eyes glanced at some of the paper in front of me.
The worry has appeared. The grade report from the previous semester.
The point is, how did my parents print it? I didn’t tell them the password, right … or did I?
“When did you think about telling us about last semester grades?” Zon felt a sticky lump of saliva being swallowed up with difficulty, but he still tried to be submissive to the tiger.
“Dad you have an account and password so you can check when they came out.”
“And I gave it to Mom too.” The person who answered me was the other person sitting next to her… my father.
“Ooh, for sure, I forgot Zon once gave me the username and password” The father tried to say in a cheerful tone, but it seemed to be ineffective. “The grade wasn’t that bad, Dad … right?”
“….” Mom and Dad didn’t answer, but the gaze sent was the inevitable pressure.
“And you think that grade 2.1 is not bad, son…” Mother said in a tired voice, “If you lower by one point you will be hit by a warning.”
“Mom dad… I’m sorry.” I said it in a tone of guilt, the expression on my face, I tried my best to appear victimized.
“It’s not that bad.”
“It is not 2.5, father and mother you should stop worrying.”
“Huh? 2.5 You remember when you used to be better than that… do you?”
“So I can do 2.6?.”
“No, how much does mother and father want?”
“Mother wants you to get G.P.A 3 at least.”
“Oh, mom, isn’t that too much? Can I extend it to G.P.A 2.75?”
“Okay, I can do the G.P.A 3… I can do it … chill.”
“Okay, so … If you guys don’t have anything else to say, I will go back up into the room.” I finished, I was about to stand up, but my father called out first.
“Zon sit down we are not finished talking with us.”
“What else is there?”
“Grades are another story, but what dad talks to you is about your crazy people fiction.”
“I think Zon you should quit writing novels and take the time to focus on studying? Zon you have dropped to this grade because you took the time to write a crazy novel.” This is the first time my father has spoken about my novel. Also he called the novel that I wrote as crazy fiction.
“But crazy fiction as you called it is my favorite thing … I remember my parents said that they would encourage me to do what I like, but what I like, Dad doesn’t support it, but so why did you say it?”
“Zon your grades have dropped and in comparison to your sister… her grades haven’t dropped.” In the end, they compared it to my sister, who did write novels but she was as successful as before. “Zol proved to us that even if she is doing something like that it doesn’t affect her studies. “
Yes, Ai Zol grade is beautiful and elegant when she is showing off. My mother used her grade like a knife to stab my chest every time she saw me.
“Plus, you still need to have a publisher contact you to say you are successful. How about you so Zon you keep doing what you love for a long time and what happened? Besides being unsuccessful, your schooling grade is still lower. If it continues like this will you be okay?”
Speaking of grades is not as hurtful as the novel that Ai Zol has published.
“Nothing but nothing. I will give you an ultimatum from now on to stop writing those novels.”
“Father.” I shouted to the person who was now walking away loudly, but hey, my father didn’t listen, even if there were many reasons to explain, my father would not listen anyway. I have my duty and hope that he will understand me.
Just a little bit is still good.
“My child Zon, think again of what your mother said, please think carefully. Whether Mom and Dad were right.”
And yes … even the mother who finished speaking the sentence didn’t seem to understand me.
No one understands me.
There isn’t one.